Up | Down

 

[Nothingness]

~ ~

I feel like going home tonight. It's a child-like feeling; when you're hurt, you'll always go back and cry at home. A natural cycle, I must say.


Sometimes in life, you will feel the emptiness engulfed you alive. There is no reasons, no pre-signs. Completely without warning and it's just go and - wham! - that was it.


The memories floored you.


Sometimes, there's a hole remains in your heart despite whatever you had in your palm at this moment in time. A hole that sometimes will let all the joy and happy feelings flushed out down through your veins into somewhere else. And the only thing left is that empty hole, with the feeling of remorse and shame. The misdeeds, the shouting and bickering, laughters and tears, jokes and anger; all jumbled together, ready to crush you down to the bones. For shame, brother!


Sometimes, you wished you can glue everything back together. Even if it will look less perfect, it would still be there, at least. How you hate the life you live now. You hated how hard you've been trying to put the best facade everyday, just to be accepted or to accept others. Being so damn pretentious. The same old routines, everyday. The same, beautiful disaster. So beautiful indeed.



Sometimes, you just have to feel the pain. Feel the razor-blade memories injure yourself. At least, after you felt the agony and pain, you'll always know that you're still alive. And still a human, after all.


Sometimes you just need someone who can see right through you. And I need it now.




2 comments:

z a w a n i b a d r i said...

feeling the same way here...
lucky me my hometown is near...
being at home is my secret escape :D
just love the kitchen, the bed, the atmosphere, the same smell :D
and i know my family won't hurt me ;)

irma-ain ibrahim said...

rindu rumah. sudah la jauh di labuan. T_T

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