I already embarked on Konsortium Bas Ekspress that is heading back to my hometown in Perak in a matter a few more minutes whilst I'm typing this on my Mac. I sat on the very back of the bus and busy checking people walking on the narrow aisle,wildly looking for their seat. Just a few minutes ago, my eyes were fixed on a woman clad-in-pink blouse, tight jeans and black tudung because she seemed absentmindedly clueless of where her seat is. As a good samaritan, I was about to ask her what is the number of his seat, but in vague seconds she asked me before my words fall out;
"Mu nyo seat nombo beghapo?" she asked me in her thick Kelantanese accent.
"Dua puluh lapan" I said in standard TV3 articulation.
"Ni nombo duo puloh sembilan deyh?" she asked again.
"Yes" I simply replied.
and she sighed. She bloody sighed. Oh, and don't forget that I'm-Gisele Bunchden-and-I-don't-want-to-sit-next -to-you kind of face. Bloody bitch.
"Kau ingat kau cantik?!" I said in low but audible tone. Well, she swiftly took her horribly-cheap-looking black handbag and finally sat on seat no. 30 with that lugubrious face. Don't play nasty with me, I give no mercy even to ladies. Don't play-play. I hope that four-words will wrap around her brain for a really long time.
Lesson: If you don't have Gisele Bundchen look, or Angelina Jolie's voloptuous figure; it's OK. Quit being delusional by acting like you have one. Because that will make you even worst and uglier than a big, fat transgendered bitch in Thailand. A nice guy like me won't be touching your boobs or vajayjay while you're sleeping! Plus, it will only be a sheer waste for the virginity of my God-given hands. Period.
Note: I'm sorry Nik Aziz, I've tried to play nice.