[Alhamdulillah]

I have thousands of reasons to say 'Alhamdulillah', BUT apparently there are two utmost reasons why I am in seventh heaven; Ethos! Book Club & our Movie Circle: The Kite Runner. Well, I have to blog about these two and thanks to those who were involved directly and indirectly, especially the Ethos!! members.

Ethos! committee had a meeting with madam Shiha last Monday. Each project managers has to explain their project and hand-in the proposal. I was nervous and sweating like a pig even though I had survived many presentations before. Alhamdulillah, Madam Shiha loves the idea of this project and approved it!

She made my day!!!

This 'Book Club' is still green and I have a lot to prove to the faculty and Ethos! itself. I hope this book club will somehow help the 'bookworms' to read more books and share theirs too. It sounds like an utopian dream, but nothing is impossible with a little effort and prayers. The local undergraduates need some augmentations especially in their way of thinking and learning 'culture' in UiTM. It seems to be painfully monotonous but thanks to the founders of Ethos! who has set the platform for us to 'hit' and 'foster' meaningful and healthier learning culture and environment in our faculty. InsyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah!

[Jangan]

Jangan kau impikan Cinta Zulaikha jika imanmu tidak seteguh Yusuf.

[Badminton]

These are the athletes under my strict coaching. It's kind of hard to coach them, but we are doing fine for the time being. As an international coach with 10-years of professional coaching experience, coaching the girl clad in blue and the guy with shaved legs was a total nightmare! I have lots of work to do in training them both. *sigh.

For more information, click here. I'm too tired due to a tedious practice with Lee Wan Wah this evening. Tajul(uddin) and Aimi; you have a loooot to improve, Miss Aisyah and Acad; there's still room for improvement. Nazri, you're doing good. Keep it up. Geez. There's another athlete under my supervision, Hafriz. I'll upload his pic soon. :P

 

*Hahahahahaha!

[KebunLangit]

Ku selak bingkisan dari syurga
amaran Nya pedih
janji Nya indah
diri ini kian penat dan tenat
dosa bersulam noda
memburung kusta hedonisme
manakah hujungnya.

Salah siapa?
Terfikir ku seketika.
Terhenti langkah di pintu syurga.
Termangu diri di lorong neraka.
Sesal terbungkam didada
syurga dan neraka
milik siapa?

Mentari subuh bersinar lagi
Desir iman bertiup
Wangian taqwa bertebaran
Ku siulkan bait-bait rindu
Ku kepilkan nota-nota syukur
Ke kebun langit itu.

[Suria Apartment; 24Rejab1429H]

[AntalogiBahasa]

Alhamdulillah. GKLN Publishing House berjaya memasarkan judul-judul baru bagi tahun 2008. Grup Karyawan Luar Negara (GKLN) ini sememangnya amat bermutu dan sarat dengan nilai-nilai keagamaan serta pencarian dan penghambaan diri kepada Pencipta.

Bagi penggemar karya-karya berbentuk pencarian diri dan keagamaan, dapatkan judul-judul ini dipasaran! Secara individunya, saya kira para pelajar/karyawan luar negara ini amat berpotensi dan boleh diibaratkan setanding dengan karya-karya penulis barat seperti Paulo Coelho dan sebagainya. Karya-karya yang meruntun jiwa ini adalah kebanyakannya hasil dari pengalaman serta pengembaraan mencari ilmu di bumi asing. Semoga lebih banyak penulis-penulis muda bernafas keagamaan ini dalam industri kesusasteraan negara kita. InsyaAllah.

2008

2007

Untuk tempahan dan informasi, klik disini.

[Subuh]

Derap kaki melangkah,

kerumah Allah

dalam kelam subuh

terpasak seribu noda di dada 

dan sesak di kepala

Seraya kepala mendongak ke langit 

di atas kepalaku

Ku rasa kerdil

Ku rasa hina

Ku rasa diri penuh dosa

Ku cerca hati ini kala subuhmu menjelang

Dibawah langit subuh Mu,

disitu ada aku.

cuba mencari redhamu.

dalam kemalapan hati,

dalam kota yang kian mati.

[Suria Apartment; Subuh July 26]

*Update: Ku jumpai cincin Tatie diMasjid. Tatie, usah merajuk lagi! :P

[Readings]

[Friends]

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.  "

( Kahlil Gibran )

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

I think I've been blessed by Allah with many good friends all around me. Thanks to everyone, especially to Ethos!!' members and fellow bloggers who shared a bit of their warmth and happiness. This song was dedicated to me by Mr.Tajul(uddin) and guess what, I'd almost cried watching this. Thanks!

I was thinking Ethos' humanitarian program to Uganda. Or Palestine. Or at least, Cambodia. But of course, it will and shall remain as just an idea, I guess. ):

"You've Got A Friend"
by McFly

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud, yeah
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yes I will
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh yeah, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will.

You've got a friend
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again (oh baby don't you know)
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
Lord, I'll be there yes I will.
You've got a friend

Oh, you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

[Adif Faidz]

Well, he asked me to write something about him on my blog. I said, “What? Hell no! I won’t! Ko kawan aku je pown. Awek aku pon aku xtulis dalam blog. Geez.” But now, I definitely found a legitimate reason to write something about him. He’s left Malaysia. Again. Yeah, it suck big time.

Best friend comes in many ways. I always believe that and it often makes me sad.  We met several times last month, and yes, our main topics were girls and our future plans. Yes we are ‘jiwang’ more than you’ll ever imagine. Both of us are single and sometimes a bit too ambitious. But, it’s all right I think. We think.

We discussed about what going to happen in few years, sape kawin dulu, sape lagi handsome, sape lagi buncit and blahblahblah. The most ridiculous moment was when he asked me to join the army since he’s going to serve for the national defence  if I’m not mistaken. What a suggestion. Hahaha.

Talking about GIRLS is the best thing ever. He told that he broke up with a girl and blahblahblah. I said that its normal and I had the same bloody experience too. Luck is never by our side when it comes to this Love matter. Hahaha. But, who cares.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

These are the best quotations by Dr. Adif Faidz Daud;

“Zul, aku rasa aku ni macam kertas tisu laa. Bila sedih, perempuan cari laa aku. Lepas dia dah kesat segala hingus ngan airmata, die buang aku dalam tong sampah. Bullshit.”

(Adif, 2008 )

"Zul, ko tengok. Semua budak praktikum matrik kita dah couple. Kita bila Zul? Bilaaaaaa?"

(Adif, 2008 )

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

I laughed my heart out and he did too. I simply said, “ Lain kali, simpan sikit kertas tisu tuh kat diri ko, k?!” 

Alhamdulillah, we managed to maintain our friendship up till today. Itulah bezanya Ukhuwwah Fillah yang disandarkan pada Allah. Bertemu dan berpisah juga adalah kerana Nya.

To Faidz,

Puas hati ko? Hahaha. Update blog medic ko tuh! Letak aku plaks. :) Mari berjaya dalam pelajaran, agama, dunia, akhirat dan Cinta (hahahahahaha!)

 

JazakAllah. Ukhuwwah Fillah Fi Jannah!!

 

[Blessing Pt.II]

Saya sedang tunggu kawan. Lelaki atau perempuan itu tidak penting. Yang penting saya awal, dia lambat, dan yang paling penting;

Saya lapar.

Jadi, kaki kurniaan Allah ini terus melangkah seperti orang gila didalam shopping mall yang bagi saya kurang menariknya. Setelah beratur di kaunter, saya memesan satu set Big Mac. Bila satu set, dapat air ngan fries skali. Ok, anda pun tahu.

Saya mula mencari-cari tempat duduk yang kosong. Kebanyakannya penuh sebab hari tu hujung minggu. Saya pon ke meja yang paling hujung. Sebab saya rasa begitu rendah diri dan kasihan pada diri sendiri kerana terpaksa makan seorang diri. Kiri, kanan, depan, belakang, semuanya dijajah oleh mereka yang berkeluarga. Bahagia sungguh. Tak kurang juga pasangan-pasangan kekasih yang sebaya umurnya dengan saya yang bermain-main kaki dibawah meja dan merenung-renung mata kekasihnya. Zina mata. Kalau sundae dan burger itu boleh menjerit, mesti bingit jeritan mereka sebab terjadinya kemaksiatan.

Ok. Itu bukan pointnya. Maaf.

Saya memulakan makan dengan menelan french fries yang amat menyelerakan. Dan seperti biasa juga, saya terlupa membaca doa makan atau Bismillah. Itu biasa terjadi. Dan selalu membuat diri terasa bersalah. Jadi, bila tengah-tengah makan, baru teringat dan saya pernah baca di Internet, kalau terlupa, baca "Bismillahi awwaluhu wa akhiruhu". So makanan yang anda dah kongsi bersama Iblis tadi, akan termuntah keluar lah kowt. Jangan bagi Iblis sihat!

Selepas berjaya menghabiskan fries, saya rasa kenyang. Jadi saya bercadang untuk bungkus saja burger yang masih belum disentuh itu. Sedang saya cuba menghabiskan air coke yang bersisa, saya terlihat seorang makcik yang sibuk mengemas meja dan mengemop lantai. Kasihan. Ya, pada pandangan saya, dia tidak patut membuat kerja sedemikian. Makcik yang dalam lingkungan lewat  40-an itu tidak sedar ada mata yang sedang memerhatikan nya dan cuba membuat hipotesis2 bernas tentang kehidupannya. Selesai sahaja, dia pun pergi. Ke stor agaknya.

Saya menyambung operasi menghabiskan air tadi dan tiba-tiba, "boom" (exaggerate semata-mata. bukan begitu bunyinya) mop makcik tadi yang disandar kedinding berhampiran jatuh dan terkena meja saya.

Saya tak terkejut. Ajaib.

Makcik tadi meluru kearah saya, dan tak henti-henti minta maaf . "Maafkan makcik, nak", katanya sambil tersenyum resah pada saya. Itu senyuman yang ikhlas pada saya. Saya balas senyuman dan saya kata, "Tak pe". Ada peluh di dahi nya. Dia pun beredar.

Saya pun bangun dengan hasrat untuk pergi dari situ. Tiba-tiba kaki ini enggan melangkah dan saya kembali duduk. Saya kemas meja, saya lap tumpahan sos dan coke yang saya sendiri lakukan dengan tisu yang diberi, dan saya angkat dulang makanan pergi ke tempat buangan makanan. Saya buang sisa itu dan letakkan dulang diatas tempat buangan. Tak susah.

 

Makcik tadi senyum.

Abang McD senyum.

Orang lain senyum.

Saya pun senyum.

 

[Blessing]

I was quite shilly-shally about writing this post for it might seems weird. But writing weird anecdotes has been my cup of tea latterly. Therefore, I ended up writing this and here we go again.

Acad, Chip and I went to Plaza PKNS recently owing to the fact that Chip & Acad were hunting for their Baju Batik (geez!). Ok, that's not  the point. The point is when we were eating at the KFC, like always, I enjoy to observe and study the people who are passing by. Nothing much that are able to catch my attention on that day. Suddenly, I saw a family of six was walking towards the restaurant. The four children looked extremely exhilarated as they stepped into the finger-lickin'-good-restaurant but obviously, the parents were plagued by anxiety like the world is falling apart. It was an extremely busy day at the restaurant and everything seems disarrayed (that's why I prefer McD!)

I am quite sure that this is their very first time enjoying the scrumptious meals at KFC. The kids who are about 6 to 12 year-old keep on pointing here and there; to the hanging promotion placards in the restaurant. "Mak, tengok ada mainan, ada ayam, ada tu, ada ni". I smiled; and it is not a condescending sneer. I was touched by the occurrence. The father looked hesitate and wondering whether he should go queuing or someone will come to their table to take the orders. Since no one came, he stood up and hesitantly joined the lineup. That was the end of my absurd contemplation as my friends and I dragged our feet out of the restaurant.

Unluckily, it never ends there; I kept on thinking and wondering about it over and over again. I realized that I tend to take things for granted because I am so used to it.; How many of us ever think or see that enjoying meals at the KFC or McD as a total blessing? Not many people out there are able to enjoy such 'luxury' and I felt terrible and contented in unison. Enough said, I should go back to work now!

Hurmm... maybe I shouldn't think that much.

[Cinta]

(i)
Cinta.
Bukan sekadar seperti yang diwayang.
Semuanya indah
dan yang lain semuanya bisa kalah.

(ii)
Cinta.
Ia singgah lagi.
Tapi bisakah kau singgah hingga ku mati?
Bisakah kau lunakkan hati ini,
Yang entah sampai kapan bisa berdegup
Yang bisa buat ku berdiri.

(iii)
Cinta
Ilusinya ada aku
Cinta
Fantasinya ada engkau
Cinta,
Bicaranya jujur
Cinta,
Katanya dusta.
Cinta,
Disini letak pahala.
Cinta,
Disana bertaburan dosa.

(iv)
Kau mencabar kewarasan akalku,
Kau membuat hati tak keruan,
Kau.
Ya, engkau.
Hebat sungguh engkau.
Cinta.

(v)
Cinta.
Alangkah seronoknya.
Bila bisa dicintai.
Alangkah seronoknya,
Bila bisa mencintai.

Dosa dalam palsunya pahala,
Rela dalam ingkar,
Bahagia dalam sengsara.

Cinta.Cinta.Cinta.
Aku teruja!

[Suria Apartment, 10:29 p.m]

[ChangeWeCanBelieveIn]

 

Last semester was a disaster. But still, I enjoyed it very much. My GPA dwindled  a little whilst most of my friends scored on average of 3.5. To be honest, I don't really feel sucks despite of my woebegone result. I was neither sad nor happy about the result. And I promised myself not to point fingers at anyone for anything that happened last semester. Let bygones be bygones.

So now, here I am; as healthy as a horse and trying to better than the days before. Rasulullah S.A.W reminded us that, "Barangsiapa yang hari in sama dengan kelmarin, maka dia termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang yang rugi" (Hadith riwayat Dailami). Therefore, I decided to make a list of what I should do throughout this semester. These will act as a challenge for me in climbing up the ladders of my life. I hope.

My Spiritual life: 

1) Khatam Al-Quran before Ramadhan ends. Read al-Ma'thurat frequently too! May help out Nazri of ethos during this Ramadhan to do a Halaqah. It somehow reminds me of my matriculation days. *sigh

2) Solat. Solat. Solat. I have to bear in mind that Allah is watching over me and I should be always be thankful for that. I'll try to go for solat jemaah and attend kuliahs held at the Masjid. No excuses this time, Moja!

3) Mind your manners! I am a Muslim, and I have to toe the line as set by Allah. There are boundaries in socializing! Take note of that.

My Health life:

1) I have to shed off two kilos as recommended by the doctor. Geez.

2) Do exercises! A short jog around the lake will do.

My Intellectual life:

1) Read more books! (novels, magazines, etc.)

2) Try to obtain GPA of 3.5 this semester. Yes you can!

3) Be organized! That's the key of an absolute success! 

My Relationship life:

1) Make more friends, avoid more enemies.

2) Try to maintain the existing friendships, and try to create others.

3) Girlfriend? Naah...

My Self-discovery life:

1) Spend more quality time by reflecting and scrutinizing the life I had.

2) Go travel! See new things, meet new people along the way. 

 

... I hope I will slightly change into a better person this year. It's like upgrading a computer, the more you upgrade, the better it will becomes. I have to change to be a better person. and so do you! InsyaAllah!

Stop become who you were and become what you are!

p/s: Start working on your target/list/whatsoever now!!

[BiarkuJadiIzrail]

 

Biarku jadi Izrail,
Biarku renggut nyawa mereka ,
Biarku bunuh zionis itu,
Biarku tebus darah yang mengalir dibumiMu.

Biarku jadi Izrail,
Biarku ubati sengsara adik-adik ku,
Biarku kesat airmata ibu-ibu ku,
Biarku tebus nyawa abang-abang ku,
Biarku tebus maruah saudara-saudara ku,

Biarku jadi Izrail,
Biarku tamatkan derita Palestin,
Biarku kembalikan maruah bumi Quds ini,
Biarku tegakkan kalimah mu disini!

Namun aku bukan Izrail,
Kudratku kecil,
Semangatku lemah,
Imanku goyah.

Tuhan,
Bantulah aku,
Kerna ku takkan bisa menjadi Izrail-Mu,
Aku hanya hamba-Mu yang lemah.

[Suria Apartment, 2:36 a.m]

[KuMahuPulang!]

Terkadang saya terfikir, siapa saya, dan kemana hala tuju saya di dunia. Soalan ini kerap bermain dibenak medula oblongata yang agaknya kian malas berfikir. Jadi saya cuba mengalih paradigma pemikiran saya yang saya kira masih sempit, kusut dan tidak matang ke tahap yang lebih baik.

Bila saya mengimbas post-post blog saya yang lama, acap kali saya tersenyum sendiri. Betapa berwarna-warninya hidup saya, walaupun saya rasakan palitan yang hitam lagi menjengkelkan boleh juga dikira banyaknya. Tapi, itulah yang saya kirakan kehidupan. Itu lah yang mematangkan pemikiran dan mendewasakan perasaan ini.

Saya kerapkali ingin melakukan sesuatu yang bermakna, yang bisa dibanggakan bila di imbas kembali di masa tua. Bayangkan, pada umur 60 atau 70, dikala kubur kian menjemput datang, mungkin dalam masa-masa 'emas' itu, saya akan membuka kembali blog saya ini, dan membaca semua karya-karya atau karangan saya. Bukankah itu sesuatu yang bermakna untuk hari tua? 

Saya adalah seseorang yang anda boleh kirakan amat sukar untuk difahami. Peperangan antara 'ying dan yang' senantiasa bermain dilubuk hati yang barangkali kelam warnanya. Diantara ingin memenuhi kehendak agama, atau mengikuti budaya hedonisme yang kian membarah dalam masyarakat. Sesetengah rakan saya pernah berkata, mengapa perlu berfikir dengan sebegitu kompleks? Kehidupan sepatutnya dinikmati, kita masih muda, hentikan berfikir tentang itu dan ini. Permasalahan politik, membaca buku-buku yang boleh dikira pelik dan sebagainya. Serahkan saja pada yang lebih dewasa. 

Tapi saya kirakan itu adalah kedangkalan manusia yang nyata. Yang masih tidak tahu hala tuju kehidupan yang sebenar. Sama ada mereka tidak pernah memikirkan akan nya atau enggan memikirkan tentangnya. Ya. Pelik tapi benar.

Kebodohan yang paling nyata adalah manusia yang enggan mencari dan membaiki kebodohan dirinya.

Bodoh sungguh. Saya enggan jadi seorang yang bodoh. Anda bagaimana?

p/s: Saya akhiri eceran saya dengan bait sajak Pengembara Dalam Perjalanan (1978 ) karya Kassim Ahmad;

Aku seorang pengembara,

Didalam perjalanan pulang, 

seperti matahari, gunung, lautan, pokok dan bintang,

Memilih jalan lurus 

Diantara jalan-jalan menyimpang

Untuk pulang!

[PickingUp/DroppingOff]

 

To: Izza Izelan 

I love airports.

Picking up. I love waiting for my love ones. I love seeing my friends after their long absence from my radar. I love the screams, the guffaw, the hugs and the kisses. I love them all. It's so irresistible. I love carrying the bouquet of flowers in my hand as I tremble while passing it into her hands. Wait. I never really did it. I watched to much movies, I think.

"Welcome home!"

I hate airports.

Dropping off. I hate watching you go. I hate watching friends that were crying over the departure. The farewell is utterly painful for us to take. After the laughs, the smiles, the tears and the craziness that we had together; even it's for a very, very short time. I hate watching the mother waved goodbyes and the sisters cried. The atmosphere was tormenting and almost suffocating. 

Yet before you wave us goodbye, we're missing you already. You can see it in our eyes.

The days will never be the same without you and your silly jokes, your smile and your laughter. The days will be lonelier without you here.

Let's count the days together. Maybe, months. One, two, three, four, five, six... maybe six months. And we shall see you again. And we are going to spend our night at McDonald's; gossiping and laughing while eating- once again.

The sun is setting. Its time to say goodbye.

"We're gonna miss you!"

 

 

[Love/Lust]

Love is a real funny thing. For me, it can either be a total blessing from Allah or a complete condemnation. My friend and I had a little conversation through YM. And as a 'young adult' (as mention by Mdm Rosalind) it's normal us to yearn for a shoulder to cry on as we often crave for more attention by people that we Love.

Faidz and I had a private confab about this for a quite long time. We even discussed (notice the words 'discussed'? It means we are serious about it. We're not joking, ladies!) about this when we met for a reunion last week. We conversed about this; why can't we Love people, simply like others do? It's like something that hinder us two, or maybe a few more aliens like us, to be in Love, to hold hands, to go for movies, to go for romantic dinners, blahblahblah. There are some quirky factors that led to this baffling bone of contention;

1. We aren't gay. We as straight as a highway.


2. We want to be in Love, but at the same time, we wished that we won't be in Love.


3. We are confused; Love or Lust?


4. Why too many constraints for us to face?

Eventually, I ferreted out that maybe (take note the word; MAYBE) There are 'hikmah' behind all these. Maybe if we do fell in Love with any girls out there, it will lead us apart from the right road. Maybe we'll make somebody's daughter goes pregnant? (Nau'zubillah) Who knows and who plans it better than Allah? I hope Faidz and I, and also those aliens like us, who had the same terrible, foolish dilemma; to be happy with the life we live in. It's all right not to be in Love. For now. :)

[Biar.Benar.Batil.Kita]

Biar.

Biar rakyat keliru. Biar mereka tidak tahu. Aku dipihak yang benar. Begitu juga aku! Aku cintakan agama! Aku cintakan bangsa! Politik kita, Politik gila! Aku benci kamu dan sekutumu! Ku punya bukti! Ku punya saksi! Ya, aku yang hak, dan kau yang batil!

Benar.
Sudah tentu aku yang benar! Aku perjuangkan Islam. Aku perjuangkan sunnahnya! Aku cinta Rasul. Aku cinta Nabi. Aku perjuangkan....ahh... segala-galanya! Aku tidak materialistik! Pilih. Taman Syurga atau lubang Neraka.

Sudah tentu aku yang benar! Aku perjuangkan kemakmuran! dan juga kemajuan!! Bila maju dan makmur, baru Islam akan mekar subur! Baru Hadhari masyarakat ini! Baru Madani ummah ini!

Batil.
Engkau penghirup wang-wang rakyat. Engkau penipu! Engkau kafir! Engkau itu, dan engkau juga ini!

Engkau mundur! Engkau tak mampu! Engkau hanya bisa duduk diMasjid dan bertazkirah. Serah saja urusan khalifah kepadaku. Aku mampu.

Kita.
Bodoh mereka. Kita tak perlu berkata apa. Kita sudah berjaya. Kita juga yang bijaksana, dan nyata tanah ini seharusnya jadi milik kita. Hanya kita yang mampu mentadbirnya. Bukan mereka.

Mereka bodoh dan gila. Tanah ini bisa jatuh jadi milik kita.

 

[AnektodBudakKampung]

 

Anektod Budak Kampung 3: Banjir itu Indah

Tiada yang lebih menyeronokkan dari musim tengkujuh bagi saya dan sepupu-sepupuku. Biasanya apabila musim ini tiba, kami bersiap-sedia dengan rakit dan pelampung. ‘Google’ murah yang di kedai runcit ‘makcik Jah’ berhampiran bagaikan pisang goreng panas. Didalam kekecohan dan kerisauan emak dan abah kami mengalihkan barang-barang berharga ke atas rumah, kami juga sibuk mengepam pelampung, mengikat anak-anak pisang untuk dibuat rakit. Amat meriah!

Banjir itu indah. Dikampung saya, Alhamdulillah, tidak pernak banjir meragut nyawa penduduknya. Mungkin hanya ayam, lembu atau kambing yang tidak bernasib baik diragut nyawanya oleh Allah. Sebaik sahaja air melimpahi benteng dan tebing sungai, ‘pesta’ kami pun bermula! Biasanya ianya akan berakhir apabila jeritan emak saya memanggil pulang kerana kerisauan atau dentuman halilintar deselang dengan panahan petir yang membuatkan kami terdiam dan terkontang-kanting lari kerumah masing-masing. Faktor terakhir yang bisa membolehkan kami pulang dan berhenti bermain ialah apabila salah seorang dari kami ditarik atau di’piat’ telinga oleh ibunya atau libasan rotan berbisa ayah saya. Pedih.

Itulah zaman indah kanak-kanak. Tak perlu fikir panjang-panjang dan dalam-dalam. Tak macam sekarang, perogol dan pencabul dimerata-rata tempat. Tiba-tiba saya terkenangkan Adik Sharlinie. Dimana agaknya anda? Saya mendoakan anda bisa pulang kepangkuan keluarga yang merindui anda. InsyaAllah.

[IbukuTidakPandai]

Ibuku Tidak Pandai
(ma, aku rindu)

Ibuku tidak pandai
Menghantar mesej ringkas
Setiap yang dikirim
Bisu yang berbalas

Ibuku tidak pandai
Meneka mana Eropah
Cuma di benaknya
Mahu ke Mekah

Ibuku tidak pandai
Menghadap teknologi
Hari ini ia belajar
Esok diajar lagi

Ibuku tidak pandai
Memakai baju mahal
Ke mana jua pergi
Kurung tak ditinggal

Ibuku tidak pandai
Mengerah amarah
Tapi tajam jelingnya
Buat kami bersalah

Ibuku tidak pandai
Berbicara syahdu
Hanya tutur mata
Meluahkan rindu

11 Mei 2008 (8.00 am)
King’s College London
Lakaran Ilham Mohd Waqiyuddin Abdullah

[Books]

Currently reading these:

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl

by Anne Frank, Eleanor Roosevelt (Introduction), B.M. Mooyaart (Translator)

A beloved classic since its initial publication in 1947, this vivid, insightful journal is a fitting memorial to the gifted Jewish teenager who died at Bergen-Belsen, Germany, in 1945. Born in 1929, Anne Frank received a blank diary on her 13th birthday, just weeks before she and her family went into hiding in Nazi-occupied Amsterdam. Her marvelously detailed, engagingly personal entries chronicle 25 trying months of claustrophobic, quarrelsome intimacy with her parents, sister, a second family, and a middle-aged dentist who has little tolerance for Anne's vivacity. The diary's universal appeal stems from its riveting blend of the grubby particulars of life during wartime (scant, bad food; shabby, outgrown clothes that can't be replaced; constant fear of discovery) and candid discussion of emotions familiar to every adolescent (everyone criticizes me, no one sees my real nature, when will I be loved?). Yet Frank was no ordinary teen: the later entries reveal a sense of compassion and a spiritual depth remarkable in a girl barely 15. Her death epitomizes the madness of the Holocaust, but for the millions who meet Anne through her diary, it is also a very individual loss.

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)

by Eckhart Tolle

The highly anticipated follow-up to the 2,000,000 copy bestselling inspirational book, The Power of Now

With his bestselling spiritual guide The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle inspired millions of readers to discover the freedom and joy of a life lived "in the now." In A New Earth, Tolle expands on these powerful ideas to show how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world. Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates the dysfunction that leads to anger, jealousy, and unhappiness, and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence.

My wishlist:

Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time  (Ordered)       

by Greg Mortenson, David Oliver Relin

The astonishing, uplifting story of a real-life Indiana Jones and his humanitarian campaign to use education to combat terrorism in the Taliban’s backyard. Anyone who despairs of the individual’s power to change lives has to read the story of Greg Mortenson, a homeless mountaineer who, following a 1993 climb of Pakistan’s treacherous K2, was inspired by a chance encounter with impoverished mountain villagers and promised to build them a school. Over the next decade he built fifty-five schools —especially for girls— that offer a balanced education in one of the most isolated and dangerous regions on earth. As it chronicles Mortenson’s quest, which has brought him into conflict with both enraged Islamists and uncomprehending Americans, Three Cups of Tea combines adventure with a celebration of the humanitarian spirit.

Does My Head Look Big In This?

(Ordered)      

 

by Randa Abdel-Fattah

Sixteen-year-old Amal makes the decision to start wearing the hijab full- time and everyone has a reaction. Her parents, her teachers, her friends, people on the street. But she stands by her decision to embrace her faith and all that it is, even if it does make her a little different from everyone else.        

Can she handle the taunts of "nappy head," the prejudice of her classmates, and still attract the cutest boy in school? Brilliantly funny and poignant, Randa Abdel-Fattah's debut novel will strike a chord in all teenage readers, no matter what their beliefs.

Say You're One of Them       

by Uwem Akpan

Uwem Akpan's stunning stories humanize the perils of poverty and violence so piercingly that few readers will feel they've ever encountered Africa so immediately. The eight-year-old narrator of "An Ex-Mas Feast" needs only enough money to buy books and pay fees in order to attend school. Even when his twelve-year-old sister takes to the streets to raise these meager funds, his dream can't be granted. Food comes first. His family lives in a street shanty in Nairobi, Kenya, but their way of both loving and taking advantage of each other strikes a universal chord. 

A Separate Peace       

by John Knowles

Set at a boys' boarding school in New England during the early years of World War II, A Separate Peaceis a harrowing and luminous parable of the dark side of adolescence. Gene is a lonely, introverted intellectual. Phineas is a handsome, taunting, daredevil athlete. What happens between the two friends one summer, like the war itself, banishes the innocence of these boys and their world.A bestseller for more than thirty years, A Separate Peace is John Knowles's crowning achievement and an undisputed American classic.

[Now&Then]

 

Yesterday my friends and I had a little gathering (Unofficial, it is) at Mid Valley. It's good to see Faidz, Bino, and Ezzad after almost 2 years 'graduating' from the matriculation program. Meeting them has made me reminiscing the good, old year in Johore matriculation, Tangkak. Apart of gruelling academic program, the one-year-program is my absolute turning point in my life. Here goes my story;

Academic: Faidz, Bino, Palie, Ezzad, Nafis, are my 'practicum'mate.  I still vividly remember how problematic we were whenever it comes with lab experiments. In biology class, we were the most active species. All of us are as curious as cats; we put almost everything under the microscopes, hair, nail, ants, and everything that seems bizarre. The best part is when we were in the last semester, we had to did individual observation on internal organs of rodent which is mouse. We were very, very excited to hold the knife and CUT the skin of the unlucky mice for the first time. God, all the mice are fat and fleshy! I think they were given so much food before the 'operation' by illegitimate 'doctors'. Hahahaha. (May all of the victims of our experiments be blessed by God, for helping us to see and learn the wonder of Allah's creation. InsyaAllah.)

Spiritual: This is the most significant knowledge that I've learnt throughout my life (to date). It was a really beautiful thing when people around you care about your spiritual development. They helped me to discover my "blind spot" in Life. Saya di 'tarbiyyah' oleh mereka yang saya kagumi ilmu agamanya. Saya sertai usrah-usrah yang dijalankan. Dari isu Palestin, Ramallah, Hizbut Tahrir, Al-Bana, Yusuf Estes, hinggalah ke politik dunia, semuanya dibincangkan dengan secara ilmiah sekali. Untuk pertama kalinya, saya rasa apa itu keindahan persaudaraan dalam Islam. Setiap pagi, Faidz atau Fahim akan bangun untuk mengejutkan saya untuk ke Masjid untuk solat Subuh berjemaah. Pendek kata, kami saling ingat-mengingati antara satu sama lain. Itu lah gunanya berada dalam satu jemaah yang baik. Untuk pertama kali dalam hidup ini, rasa ada matlamat rasanya hidup. Rasa betapa dekat dengan Allah S.W.T. Saya tak pernah terfikir untuk belajar ilmu agama, bagi saya asalkan tak melakukan dosa, itu sudah cukup baik dan tak perlulah hendak menghafal 30 juzuk Kalam Allah di benak kepala ini. Faidz, Fahim, Zul, Aliff, Ammar Taqiyuddin, Ustaz Awang; sesungguhnya saya berhutang dengan anda dan mustahil saya bisa membayar balik kebaikan dan segala yang anda telah lakukan. Semoga Allah berkati perjalanan hidup kalian. Masih saya ingat kita ahli-ahli KARISMA meronda kawasan kolej setiap malam untuk mengelakkan pelajar-pelajar dari membuat maksiat. Dari tengah malam hingga ke pagi agaknya, sampai terjumpa orang yang dirasuk lagi. Hahaha. 

Sekarang: Hidup tanpa kalian amat sukar rasanya. AlQuran ku jarang diselak, Ma'thurat ku kian berdebu. Tiada sahabat untuk membimbing diri yang maha cetek ilmunya ini. Tiada sahabat lagi yang bisa menarik telinga, merenjis air ke muka, dan menarik saya turun kekatil untuk berjemaah dikala awal pagi. Tiada lagi sahabat yang mengajak saya mendengar Usrah dalam halaqah. Tiada lagi sahabat yang bisa menasihati saya untuk kembali ke jalan yang dahulunya saya jejaki bersama kalian semua. Tiada sesiapa untuk dipersalahkan melainkan diri. Saya tersesat dalam jalan yang saya pilih sendiri. Namun saya pasti, kita berjumpa dan berpisah kerana Allah, dan tanggungjawab untuk mentarbiyyah dan ditarbiyyah itu tergalas dibahu sendiri sebagai hamba Allah. Sukar sungguh rasanya. Semoga Allah menyelamatkan saya, kalian dan semua dalam keributan hidup kini. InsyaAllah.

[AkuMencariTuhanku]

 

Ku cari diri Mu,
Ku dongak ke langit ciptaan Mu,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Ku selam jauh kedalam lautan Mu,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Ku pandang ke dalam mata kekasihku,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Ku cari dalam hilai tawaku,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Ku cari dalam derai airmataku,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Ku selak Injil, Zabur, Taurat, dan Quran Mu,
Engkau tiada disitu.
Aku berhenti mencari.
Aku mula memandang kedalam relung hatiku.
Ya.
Engkau ada disitu.
Engkau senantiasa disitu,
Engkau senantiasa bersamaku.

Aku telah menjumpaiMu.

[RelungHati]

 

I hate the fact that I still adore you. I hate the fact that you've changed. I hate the fact that I can't take care of myself. I hate the fact that I let others down. I hate the fact that I Love you still and I hate it very much. You has turned me into a helpless man I'd never imagined I could be. 

I hate the fact that I can't Love someone else just because I Love you.

Silly me.

 Yovie Nuno - Menjaga Hati

masih tertinggal bayanganmu
yang telah membekas di relung hatiku
hujan tanpa henti seolah bertanda
cinta tak disini lagi kau telah berpaling

REFF:
biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini
menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
engkau pergi aku takkan pergi
kau menjauh aku takkan jauh
sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu
ooh oooh

masih adakah cahaya rindumu
yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu
aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu
meskipun kulihat kau kini diseberang sana

REFF

andai akhirnya kau tak juga kembali
aku tetap sendiri menjaga hati

REFF 2x

sejujurnya aku masih mengharapkanmu
oooh ooohh