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[Merosakkan Hari Manusia Lain]

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3:30 pm.


I was sitting on the back of my girlfriend’s wagon, driving to the office. Another girl, who is my friend too, was sitting next to the driver. They were talking about boys. Yes, you heard me right.

BOYS.

I was annoyed.

I felt so gay.


4.00 pm.

We were sitting on the old, cheap-looking black sofa. Waiting for an important person, The Datin, in the waiting room. The discussion continues.

Marriage.

“Moja, apesal ko tak kapel lagi aaa?” one of the girls asked.

There was 52 seconds of pin-drop silence, before I verbalized the answer.

“Oh. Tak payah. Jadi lelaki senang, umur 30 or 35 pon boleh kahwin lagi. Maybe dengan isteri yang 20-an pulak tu” I said rather sharply and continue reading Readers’ Digest.

“Owh”

“You know what, I had a conversation with my married cousin last 2 or 3 weeks ago about the same bloody topic; Marriage”

“Spill the beans!”

“Ok. Macam ni……..”

… and I started preaching about my (unparalleled ) theories;

1. Girls shouldn’t be so memilih nowadays. Do you realize that the boys-girls current ratio in UiTM right now? 5 girls – 1 boy. Including the Jerks, the Romeos, the Homosexuals and the Bisexuals. Think about it. (but you can always find more boys in rehab or under the bridges, being unlicensed doctors. You choose)

2. When you said that, “Don’t worry, I can find Him when I work nanti!” . Wrong! Most gentlemen, by then, dah ada yang punya. So, you stand no chance. Unless you are Gisele Bundchen. Or Megan Fox. Or Britney. Or at least, Siti Nurhaliza. Or Fazura.

3. Reciprocal. If you want an Ustaz to be your future husband, please make sure you behave like an Ustazah too. It has to be mutual.

4. Good, ambitious straight guys clad in Marc Jacobs garments usually will resort to late marriage. Ambitions come first, girls can wait.

5. The most dangerous food is the wedding cake.


Datin finally arrived.

I pat behind my friend’s back and said, “Don’t think too much, your knight in shining BMW will come soon. Perhaps, our tradition should take the blame of turning this whole marriage-thing into rocket science.

I’m so good in ruining other people’s day.



14 comments:

missyonne said...

hahahaha!

i love it moja.
dun need to rush kan.
since...

he or she is already there.
on their way to pick us up :) heee

Dira said...

Theories 2 and 4, really? Dang it. Haha.

theroyalcrapster said...

cant wait to see u get married :)

BiTeMe! said...

hahaha. gile jahat kan? i love the first and the fifth.

Moja Amin™ said...

Missyonne,

Betul.
Slow and steady!

Moja Amin™ said...

Dira,

Just my two cents.
Ahahaha!

Moja Amin™ said...

Izza,

Aku pon tak sabar.
and you too!

phewwit!

Moja Amin™ said...

BiteMe,

Oh I am jahat but baik at heart. hahaha
Thanks.

Liyana said...

why??why?????
suke hati la if mls nk kahwin awal or ske single(although at times xsgt)..hahaha...naseb la parents aq kate bile aq 29> bru bley kawen..xde la pressure pon..hahaha

nenanay said...

pergh, pedas.
lol.
terasa tp ada kebenarannya.
hmm, i wonder mcm mana your future gf nanti.
huhu~

Izlin said...

moja, i like all your 5 theories! i pon been viewing marriage or jodoh as exactly this way :) heheh.

Moja Amin™ said...

Liyana,

Kudos to your parenttsss! we need more parents liddat!

Moja Amin™ said...

Nenanay

Pedas. pedas.

Tak payah laa wonder sebab I pon tataw.
But for now, you can imagine someone like Megan Fox or Britney.
or Gisele.

Moja Amin™ said...

Izlin,

THAAAAANNNKKSS!
:D

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