[Merdeka]

Merdeka.

[Sisi Lain]

Sudah lama rasanya tak menulis. Bukan malas, cuma tiada idea. Tapi, tak mahu biar blog ini terus sunyi macam penulisnya dah mati.

Kehidupan selepas SIFE Competition rasa lain amat. Masih menyesuaikan diri untuk kembali giat membaca novel seperti dulu, mengemas rumah sewa seperti dulu, dan bersosial seperti dulu. Sepanjang jangka masa itu juga, diri ini kenal beberapa kawan/teman baru yang membuatkan kepala ini pusing berfikir tentang masa depan dan matlamat hidup.

"Lagi 5 tahun, kau jadi apa?"

Tersekat jawapan dikerongkong. Rasa mahu demam bila fikir dalam-dalam. Apa impian aku yang sebenar, dan destinasi mana yang aku tuju? Tak tahu.

Biarlah dulu.

Jadi Presiden Ethos! Kadang-kadang rasa belum bersedia, belum layak. Tapi bila fikir-fikir, bila lagi nak bersedia kalau bukan sekarang? Kalau 'screw-up' pun, peringkat universiti saja. Bukan kementerian dalam negara. Bila berada di'atas', baru rasa susah dan risau. Dulu, masa di'bawah', mulut ini memang ringan hendak mengomen dan mengomel. Cakap lagi senang dari buat. Betul, betul.

Sekarang berada di kampung halaman. Ada abah, mak, kak long, adik. Rasa lengkap. Rasa lega. Tapi, otak masih harus berfikir.

Fikir masa depan. Fikir cita-cita.

p/s: Selamat berpuasa semua!

[PicturePosts]

SIFE National Competition 2009

Date: 20 - 21st July 2009

Venue: Putra World Trade Center

Short & Sweet Malaysia 2009

Date: 07 August 2009

Venue: KLPac, Sentul West

Luncheon Talk with Tun M: Shaping Minds, Building Leadership 2009

Date: 13 August 2009

Venue: Putrajaya Marriott Hotel

MTV World Stage

Date: 15 August 2009

Venue: Sunway Lagoon

[Pilgrimage]

Its 4:05 am. And there are only 8 people that still actively on Facebook.

Today, I had a conversation with another ‘seer’ and that what made my Sunday interesting. Hence, giving me concrete reasons to run my fingers on my Mac and another sleepless night. The amazing fact about Life is, our variation from one human to another and that is how God reflects Himself in His creations. For this time being, I can simply categorize people around me into two distinctive groups - regular and irregular. A ‘seer’ can easily fall under the second group.

Not many can see right through you without your consent; without you telling them what you have in mind or without personally knowing them well. And of course, they are nothing like X-Men's “mind-reader”, but just mortals who are extremely observant even to petty things around them. These people are either quite unparticipative or very vocal in addressing their thoughts. Hence making them a streak of light in the midst of people. Personally, I think the ability that makes you stand out from a myriad of people is not something that you can develop or create, but a sheer genetical ‘luck’.

It’s either you born with it, or you don’t.

Don’t bother to attend courses and hammer it in yourself. You could be a prime minister or a fashionista, yet you won’t be enrolled under this banner. They are like tarot-card readers, sending a chill down my spine but only with slight differences. More accurately, like a moth to the flame, I see these people with favor in spite of injecting me with immeasurable inferiorities. I couldn’t care less anyways.

For me, everyday, there are many people swirl and whirl all around us. Take a breather, think, and invite as many unique strangers as you can, but always bring awareness to the choices we make.

God, I hear you loud and clear!

[Sial]

Terkadang, tiba masa untuk berfikir hinggap dalam kepala. Masa dulu, Masa sekarang, Masa depan. Aku suka berfikir, tapi biasanya kalau berfikir dalam-dalam, akan tiba saat hati rasa runtun. Sedih.

Banyak lagi belum di buat.

Banyak lagi perlu dibuktikan.

Kehidupan yang ranum dengan ujian. Mana letak pegangan dan prinsip, mana letak akal dan Tuhan. Ada masanya, Ingin saja aku lepaskan tanggungjawab, berhenti berfikir dan terus saja berjalan. Pedulikan masa depan! Tuhan bisa bagi rezeki pada cacing meski dalam tanah nun jauh dalam perut bumi. Mati itu fitrah insani, urusan Dia. Kenapa harus peduli?

Tatap muka jam dalam-dalam.

Resah. Benci. Harap.

Bias cahaya syurga sampai silau mata. Mahu sahaja lompat tinggi-tinggi, gapai Tuhan, menjolok bintang syurga. Tapi di atas pundakku, berat beban digalas. Tak mungkin boleh ku lepas untuk lari sendiri. Hidup bukan seorang. Ada emak. Ada abah. Ada kak long. Ada adik.

Usah risau,sial.

Hati ini tak mungkin jadi pasir.