[OurLove]

Loves memory has traced our outline in this place. 

But will the spider remember, or the sun?

Did the water capture our faces in permanence?

Does the wind create us anew as it blows?

Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them? 

Our secret been revealed.

Yet I have told no other. 

I write these words in silence, in mute testimony 

To what once was. 

But our image remains alive in this place. 

It can not be removed. 

You, me, 

We then,

Were here. 

We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow. 

We caught a brief glimpse of love's promise. 

We were not liars, 

But thieves of time. 

For now time has now forgotten us,

Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers

This place that was ours. 

 

[EverythingBurns]

He sits in a darkest corner,
Counting memories that fading away,
Flipping empty pages of his diary,
He cries,
But no one seems to care.

He walks in the crowd,
He stumbles over stony road,
Pain strikes him,
He refused to cry,
At least, not this time.

As he walks to the only place he knew,
He looks up to see the crowd he walks in,
Everyone too consumed in their masquerade,
Everyone walks, swollen with pride.

This place has saw everything,
The moment he weeps, smiles and laugh,
He put down everything on the ground,
The promises, the dreams,
The hope, the smiles,
The pictures, the songs,
The pain, the memories,
He lit up fire and burns everything up.
He waits in tears till it turns to ashes,
This is the last time he will cry,
He will no longer live in dismay,
He's gone.

[TuiHou]

I don't know what I feel of late. I lied to myself again to make everything ok. Now I know that sometimes, I just can't have it all. So, I decided to move on and never look back. Too many memories to be erased, to many people ached me, too little time to heal and too many trials coming through my way. I failed too many times in relationship; family, friends. I don't know what I should do. Deep inside me, I feel alone even though too many people revolve around me. I can't find a single thing to believe in. I'm losing my faith. I can't find anyone to talk to. My memories distort my thinking and it pains me so much. I'm tired of running to nowhere. I'm tired lying to my heart that everything will turn out fine eventually. I try to act strong, but I'm too fragile inside. But hang on Moja, let everything burns. Let your dream shatter to pieces. Let your anger reigns. You'll find a place to hold on to somewhere, somehow. Be strong and never look back. You will move on and smile from your heart again. I know you will.

[LosingMyWay]

I never understand why my life shattered,I never understand why my dreams fall down,I never understand why I can’t feel myself,I never understand why I don’t feel like me,Not anymore. No matter how hard my problems are,I used to get over it,But it was yesterday,When my days are brighter,My life is merrier,And my smiles are sincere. It’s hard to live a lie,But you never understand,You never try to understand,I never intend to lie, But I have to,Even it’ll cost me my life and soul. You can’t know the truth,As the truth is my enemy,Just because I’m afraid it’ll hurt you to death,I’m losing my way,Just because I don’t want you lose it too.

[theBitterness]

  

It’s been so long I didn’t post any on my blog. Even though too many remarkable things occur in my life of late, I can’t find my time to blog anymore. But, perhaps the bitterness conquers all. I will take the pain as another lesson for me this time as I watch everything crumbles. I don’t know why I took so long to see, to understand and to speak. It’s just because I love my friend too much, just too much and eventually I hurt myself by stepping out. It hurts but perhaps, that is the best way to do for this time being, I guess. It feels like I’m facing a harsh, brutal storm in my life. I can vividly feel its power, and the lighting too. I am scared of facing it.  I stop walking. I find myself a shelter. But, if the storm turns to be nasty, a shelter can always turn to be a trap. So, I decided to step out of my shelter. To face the storm bravely. My clothes get soaked, but I know that my bare skin is waterproof. Just like many other storms, it will always bring destruction, but with the rain, fall the wisdom of the heavens. And I believe that just like any storm, it will pass. The more violent the storm, the more quickly it will pass.

            I have, thank Allah, learned to face the storms.            I don’t wanna be like others that revolve around me. I won’t let my faith slips through my fingers just to love and be loved. World is just like seawater. The more you drink it, the thirstier you would be. Everything I do is for the cause of my God. So, I rather love myself instead of anyone else. I can dream my very own dream and achieve whatsoever things that I always wanted in this life.             Dear God; Thank you for not leaving me behind whenever I needed you the most. It’s over. 

           

 

                                         

           

[Disconnected]

  

Here I am,

try to walk again after you pushed me in the dirt.

 

Here I am,

stand still and left everything behind.

 

Here I am,

breath easily, didn’t choke anymore.

 

Here I am,

whistle happily no more tears or sorrow.

 

Here I am,

alone but never lonely.

 

Here I am,

spending time with friends since you’re gone

 

Here I am,

share my laughter, holding back tears

 

Here I am,

I’m getting over it

 

Here I am,

being me and leaving you behind

 

Here I am,

hating you after you spit me out

 

Here I am,

I’m over your game

 

Here I am,

Hunting my life back

 

Here I am,

and read my lips,

“Baby, I’m back”